她不堪家暴跳楼，离婚为何如此艰难？
Her Husband Abused Her. But Getting a Divorce Was an Ordeal.
黄瑞黎
2020年9月16日
The husband and wife were alone in her boutique, but the security cameras captured it all: him pushing her down, punching her, slapping her and dragging her by the hair across the floor.
她的时装店里只有她和丈夫两人，但监控摄像头拍下了的一切：他把她推倒在地，打她，扇她耳光，拽着她的头发在地上拖她。
In footage from last year that recently circulated online, he can be seen hauling her into another room. Minutes later, the woman — her hair flailing — plummets from the second floor onto the street below in the central Chinese city of Shangqiu. The woman, Liu Zengyan, said later it was the only way she could escape.
最近网上流传的这段去年拍摄的视频中，可以看到他把她拖进了另一个房间。几分钟后，这名头发蓬乱的女子从中国中部城市商丘一栋楼的二层坠落到楼下的马路上。这名女子姓刘（应当事人要求，本文中文版仅公开其姓氏——编注），她后来说，跳楼是她唯一的逃生办法。
As she lay in the hospital after the assault, with fractures in her waist, chest and eye socket and her lower limbs temporarily paralyzed, Ms. Liu said, she was determined to leave her husband for good.
遭受家暴后，刘女士躺在医院里，腰部、胸部和眼窝骨折，下肢暂时瘫痪，她说她决定永远离开丈夫。
But a court said no.
但法院不同意。
Ms. Liu’s case has set off a nationwide debate about two of the biggest issues facing women in China: the prevalence of domestic violence and the difficulties of getting justice in a legal system stacked against them.
刘女士的离婚案在全国范围内引发了一场围绕中国女性面临的两个最大问题的辩论：普遍存在的家庭暴力，以及在不利于她们的法律系统中伸张正义的困难。
A survey conducted by the All-China Women’s Federation in 2011 showed that about one in four women had suffered physical or verbal abuse, or had their freedoms restricted by their partners. But activists, citing interviews with abused women, estimate the numbers are far higher, especially after millions were placed under lockdown during the pandemic.
全国妇联2011年的一项调查显示，约四分之一的女性曾遭受辱骂或殴打，或被配偶限制人身自由。但活动人士援引被虐待妇女的采访估计，这个数字要高得多，尤其是在新冠病毒大流行期间，千百万人被禁足家中之后。
Though China introduced an anti-domestic violence law in 2016, penalties are minimal. Marital rape is still legal, and women say restraining orders are rarely enforced.
尽管中国已在2016年出台了反家庭暴力法，但极少处罚违法者。婚内强奸仍然合法，女性说法院的限制令很少得到执行。
Even divorce is becoming harder, with the government imposing a 30-day “cooling off period” on couples seeking to separate starting next year. Legislators alarmed by China’s rising divorce rate argue the new law will prevent couples from splitting up rashly, but women’s rights advocates say it will keep people trapped in abusive marriages for a longer time.
就连离婚也将变得更加困难，政府打算从明年开始强制要求想分手的夫妻经过一个30天的“离婚冷静期”。对中国不断上升的离婚率感到担忧的立法者认为，这项新要求将防止夫妻轻率离婚，但妇女权益倡导者说，这将拖延受害者被困在虐待婚姻中的时间。
The problems for Ms. Liu, 24, started about a year after her marriage in 2017 to her high school sweetheart, Dou Jiahao, 23, in Shangqiu, a city of more than seven million. During their courtship he treated her very well, Ms. Liu said in an interview. Then in April 2018, Mr. Dou lost more than $7,200 gambling and beat her when he came home, according to Ms. Liu.
刘女士现年24岁，2017年在商丘与同为24岁的高中恋人窦家豪（音）结婚，问题在婚后一年出现了。（商丘是一座有700多万人口的城市。）刘女士在采访中说，恋爱期间，他对她非常好。后来，窦先生在2018年4月赌博时输掉了五万元，回到家后动手打了她。
“That first time, I did not call the police because I did not classify the behavior as domestic violence,” she said. “At that time, the phrase ‘domestic violence’ had not been imprinted on people’s minds.”
“我第一次没有报警，因为在第一次的时候，我没有把这个行为归类到家暴，”刘女士说。“当时‘家暴’这个词还没有印到每个人的脑海里面。”
She left Mr. Dou for over a month but, according to Ms. Liu, he apologized and begged her to take him back. Ms. Liu said she decided to stay with him because their son, who is now almost 3, was still a baby.
她离开窦先生独自生活了一个多月，但刘女士说，他向她道了歉，并求她回来。刘女士说，她决定不离开他，因为他们现在快三岁的儿子当时还是个婴儿。
In July 2019, Ms. Liu said, she complained to her mother-in-law that Mr. Dou had stayed out all night playing cards. The elder woman lectured her son, who flew into a rage and slapped and punched Ms. Liu, she said.
刘女士说，2019年7月，她向婆婆抱怨丈夫整夜都在外面打牌。她还说，老太太把儿子骂了一顿，结果他大怒，打了她。
After that incident, Ms. Liu said, she went on Zhihu, a website that allows users to ask and answer questions, and searched: “What are the traits of domestic abusers?”
刘女士说，第二次被打后，她上知乎检索“家暴有哪些特点”。这是一个让用户提问和回答问题的网站。
On the list, Ms. Liu recalled, was choking their partners during arguments, saying they wanted their partners to die, or threatening their partners’ family members. Her husband had done all of those things, Ms. Liu said.
刘女士回忆说，检索结果中有在争吵时掐配偶的脖子、说希望其死的，或有威胁配偶家人行为的。她丈夫做了所有这些事情。
Though she didn’t feel she had enough evidence to go to the police, Ms. Liu decided it was time to end her marriage.
尽管刘女士觉得自己没有足够的证据去报警，但她决定应该结束他们的婚姻。
But before she could do that, according to Ms. Liu, the third beating happened.
但据刘女士的说法，她还没来得及那样做，第三次家暴就发生了。
In August 2019, Mr. Dou was enraged after his mother scolded him in front of his friends as he was gambling. Ms. Liu said his mother, alarmed at how angry he was, sent her a message: “Lock the door and quickly escape.”
2019年8月，窦先生在赌博时被他妈当着朋友的面骂了一顿，之后他异常愤怒。刘女士说，他的怒火把他妈吓坏了，她赶紧给刘女士发了条短信：“锁门快跑。”
Ms. Liu went to stay with her mother that night. But six days later, Ms. Liu returned to her boutique, thinking that her husband was out of town. Instead he stormed into the shop, pushed Ms. Liu to the ground, slapped her, snatched her mobile phone away and said he was going to kill her, she recalled.
那天晚上，刘女士回到了娘家。但六天后，她以为丈夫不在城里，回到了自己的时装店。但他冲进店里，把她推倒在地，扇她耳光，抢走了她的手机，还说要杀死她，刘女士回忆道。
The only way to stop the beating, Ms. Liu said, was to jump out the window, landing hard on her bare feet. Video footage from security cameras showed Mr. Dou sauntering out and looking quizzically at the window upstairs as shocked passers-by tried to help Ms. Liu.
刘女士说，不被打的唯一办法是从窗户跳下来，她光着脚重重地落到地上。监控录像显示，窦先生悠闲地从楼上的窗口探出头来，看看发生了什么。楼下，吃惊的路人试图帮助刘女士。
“You can see that he’s almost become a psychopath,” said Ms. Liu, who is using a wheelchair while she recovers. “He was beating me to fulfill a desire for violence.”
“可以看出他其实已经到达心理变态了，”刘女士说，她目前正在康复，仍需要用轮椅。“他不是说激情打人的那种，他打我纯属表达自己的施暴欲。”
Mr. Dou, who is in police custody now, could not be reached for comment. Ms. Liu said his parents had changed their mobile numbers and there was no way she could reach them. Her lawyer said he did not have contact details for Mr. Dou’s lawyer.
窦先生目前正被警方羁押，记者无法联系到他置评。刘女士说，他的父母曾更换手机号码，因此她没有办法联系到他们。她的律师也表示，没有窦先生律师的详细联系方式。
It was only in recent years that domestic violence came to be seen as a significant problem in China, where laws are largely made and enforced by men, and families are discouraged from airing their problems in public. Several high-profile cases have drawn attention to the issue, and one city in eastern China recently began allowing people to check if their partners have a history of abuse before marrying them.
直到最近几年，中国才逐渐把家庭暴力视为一个严重问题。中国的法律基本上是由男性制定和执行的，大家认为家丑不可外扬。几起广受关注的案件已引起人们对家暴的注意，中国东部的一个城市最近开始让人们在结婚前查查对象是否有家暴史。
But victims often meet resistance in the legal system, which can discourage them from seeking help. Though China’s marriage law specifies that domestic violence is sufficient grounds for divorce, many courts encourage couples to try reconciling in the name of social and family harmony.
但家暴受害者常常遇到中国法律系统的阻力，这会让他们不愿寻求帮助。尽管中国的《婚姻法》明确规定，家庭暴力是离婚的充分理由，但许多法院以维持社会和家庭和谐为名，鼓励夫妻尝试调解。
Similarly, the domestic violence law made it easier to obtain restraining orders, but judges often ask for evidence of physical violence, discounting verbal and emotional abuse. From March 2016, when the law took effect, to December 2018, Chinese courts received only 5,860 applications for restraining orders and approved fewer than two-thirds of them, according to Equality, a women’s rights organization in Beijing.
同样，虽然反家庭暴力法让获得限制令变得更容易了，但法官经常要求受害者出示遭受身体暴力的证据，而不考虑言语和情感虐待。据北京妇女权益组织“为平”的数据，从反家庭暴力法于2016年3月生效起，到2018年12月，中国法院只收到了5860份禁制令申请，批准了不到三分之二的申请。
At the root of the problem, according to activists, is a notion among police officers and the courts that divorce is bad and that marriage is the bedrock of society.
据活动人士称，问题的根源是一种存在于警察和法院的观念，认为离婚不好，婚姻是社会的基石。
“Divorce is regarded as a personal failure, rather than as a remedy for one’s life,” said Feng Yuan, who runs Equality.
“根本来说，还是观念的问题，把离婚看成是个人的失败，”北京为平妇女权益机构的冯媛（音）说。
After the third beating, Ms. Liu’s in-laws tried to persuade her to stay in the marriage with promises of a car and an apartment, she said. She refused, and they have stopped paying her medical expenses since March.
遭受了三次家暴后，刘女士说，她的公婆试图说服她继续维持婚姻，承诺给她一辆车和一套房子。她拒绝了。公婆已从今年3月起停止支付她的医疗费用。
Ms. Liu also found little sympathy when she reported her husband to the police. Officers blamed the fall for her injuries, she said, and a forensic board found that Mr. Dou was responsible only for fracturing her left eye socket, describing it as a “slight injury,” according to a copy of the report viewed by The New York Times. Multiple calls to the police for comment went unanswered.
刘女士报警后也没有得到多少同情。警方认为跳楼是她受伤的主要原因，一个法医委员会只认为她左眼窝破裂是窦先生的责任，据《纽约时报》看到的报告副本，将她的眼伤描述为“轻伤”。
A second appraisal in November 2019 concluded that Mr. Dou had caused Ms. Liu a “minor injury of grade one,” elevating it to a criminal case. He was detained in March and charged with intentionally causing harm.
2019年11月对刘女士的伤情进行第二次鉴定的结论是，窦先生对刘女士造成了“一级轻伤”，将案件提升为刑事案件。窦先生已于今年3月被拘留，并被控犯有故意伤害罪。
In June, Ms. Liu filed for divorce in the Zhecheng County court in Henan Province, showing the video of the boutique beating as evidence. The court denied her request, saying Mr. Dou had not agreed to the divorce and that they should seek mediation. Ms. Liu was also told she could not get a divorce while the criminal case against her husband was still pending.
今年6月，刘女士在河南省柘城县法院提出离婚申请，她出示了在服装店被殴打的视频作为证据。法院驳回了她的申请，理由是窦先生不同意离婚，他们应该寻求调解。法院还告诉刘女士，在她丈夫的刑事案件未处理之前，她不能离婚。
“It had never occurred to me that the courts could not directly grant me a divorce at the first hearing,” Ms. Liu said.
“我没有想到说第一次开庭没有直接宣判这个离婚的结果，”刘女士说。
In a bid to pressure the court, Ms. Liu uploaded the video of her beating to WeChat, China’s dominant social media platform. Thousands of Chinese internet users rallied to her defense, and a hashtag about her case was viewed more than a billion times on the microblogging site Weibo. News media interviews soon followed.
作为向法院施压的办法，刘女士将自己被殴打的视频上传到中国主要的社交媒体平台微信上。成千上万的中国网民出来为她说话，微博上一个关于她的话题标签的点击量已超过10亿次。新闻媒体蜂拥而至。
Before long, a judge called Ms. Liu to say there was no need for mediation and the court would issue a verdict soon. On July 28, three weeks after she released the video, she was granted the divorce.
没过多久，一名法官打电话给刘女士说，不需要进行调解了，法院很快就会做出判决。7月28日，也就是她把视频传到网上三周后，她获准离婚。
“I am so happy,” said Ms. Liu, who is preparing to reopen her boutique after renovating it. “I finally got what I wanted.”
“很高兴，”刘女士说，她准备把时装店装修一下，重新开业。“就是觉得得偿所愿。”
