面对袭击和仇恨，第二代亚裔移民如何保护年迈的父母
In a Role Reversal, Asian-Americans Aim to Protect Their Parents From Hate
VANESSA HUA
2021年3月31日
Earlier in the pandemic, Ellen Lee offered to bring her parents groceries, to protect them from catching the coronavirus while shopping. They refused. Now when she asks, it’s because she’s worried they might get assaulted when they’re out running errands.
在大流行初期，艾伦·李(Ellen Lee)提出由她来帮父母买菜，以免他们在购物时感染新冠病毒。他们拒绝了。她现在重提此事，是因为她担心他们在外出办事时可能会遭到袭击。
“They want to be independent,” said Ms. Lee, 44, a Chinese-American journalist and mother of three. “The way they see it, they are the parent, and their job is to take care of me.”
“他们想要自主，”现年44岁、有三个孩子的美籍华人记者艾伦·李说。“在他们看来，他们是父母，应该由他们来照顾我。”
Her parents, who are in their mid-70s, told her they’re taking precautions, going to satellite Chinatowns in San Francisco rather than the main one, and popping in and out to fetch delicacies such as egg tarts and roast duck. “They’ll turn it around on me, and say, ‘You’re the one who should be scared,’” she said, after they pointed out that her neighborhood might be unsafe because an elderly Chinese-American man was robbed and killed a few miles away from her Oakland hills home.
她70多岁的父母告诉她，他们有预防措施。他们选择旧金山周边的唐人街，不去最大的那个，并且快速进出商店买蛋挞和烤鸭这样的美食。“他们会把话题转向我说，‘应该担心的是你，’”她说，他们指出她的街区可能不安全，因为一名年迈的美籍华人男子被抢劫并杀害，事发地点距离她在奥克兰山丘上的家只有几英里。
In the wake of recent shootings in Atlanta by a white gunman that left eight dead — six of them of Korean or Chinese descent — and surging attacks against Asian-Americans across the country, families have grappled with how to talk to their elders about protecting themselves.
最近，一名白人枪手在亚特兰大射杀八人——其中六人是韩裔或华裔。随着该枪击案以及全国各地针对亚裔美国人的袭击日益猖獗，许多家庭在努力与家中老者讨论如何保护他们自己。
Of the more than 18 million Asian-Americans in the United States, roughly three-quarters of adults were born abroad, according to William H. Frey, a demographer who is a fellow at the Brookings Institution and professor at the University of Michigan who analyzed data from the Census Bureau’s 2019 American Community Survey. That’s because of both historical immigration policy and recent immigration trends.
布鲁金斯学会(Brookings Institution)研究员、密歇根大学(University of Michigan)教授、人口统计学家威廉·H·弗雷(William H.Frey)分析了人口普查局2019年的美国社区调查数据，表示在美国超过1800万的亚裔美国人中，大约四分之三的成年人是在国外出生的。这既有历史移民政策的原因，也有最近的移民趋势的原因。
Generational and cultural gaps make conversations about race and violence difficult with their American-born and raised children and grandchildren, who may not fluently speak the native language of their elders.
代际和文化上的鸿沟，增加了他们与在美国出生长大的子女和孙辈就种族和暴力展开对话的难度，这些后辈可能不能流利地使用长辈的母语。
Be candid and direct, said Anni Chung, chief executive of Self-Help for the Elderly, a service provider in San Francisco’s Chinatown. “You can say: ‘I worry about you. If you have to run to the bank, will you let me know? I’ll take time off. If you go to the grocery, let me accompany you,’” she said. “Offer to help. They might not accept it, but the care and attention will please them.”
旧金山唐人街服务提供商“安老自助处”(Self-Help for the Elderly)首席执行官安妮·钟(Anni Chung)说，要坦率而直接。“你可以说：‘我担心你。如果你必须去银行，能跟我说一声吗？我会请假。如果你去杂货店，让我陪你去，’”她说。“给他们提供帮助，他们可能不会接受，但是关心和关注会令他们感到高兴。”
Asian-American adults may be looking out for their elders while struggling with the recent attacks themselves. Emily Chi, a 31-year-old Korean-American in Fremont, Calif., noted how quickly Asian-Americans came together after the Atlanta shootings, with online fund-raising, critical historical analysis and other efforts. But she’s also grieving. She planned to attend a vigil in Oakland focused on the victims. “Let’s make sure they aren’t erased,” Ms. Chi said. “Let’s not forget them, before we skip to action.”
成年的亚裔美国人虽然在照顾他们的长者，但他们自己也在艰难应对最近的袭击。加利福尼亚州弗里蒙特市现年31岁的韩裔美国人艾米丽·池(Emily Chi)指出，在亚特兰大枪击事件发生后，亚裔美国人通过网络筹款、批判历史分析和其他努力很快走到了一起。但她也感到悲伤。她计划参加在奥克兰为受害者举行的守夜活动。“让我们确保历史不会被抹去，”池女士说。“我们不要在急于行动之前忘记了他们。”
In her conversations with her grandmother, aunt and mother, they all imagined a victim’s final worry: “‘What about my babies? Who will take care of them?’” Ms. Chi said. “We see their names, we see their faces, and you feel like it could be you,” she said of the Asian-Americans killed. “It could be your grandmother.”
在她与祖母、姨妈和母亲的交谈中，她们都想象着受害者临终的担忧：“‘我的孩子们怎么办？谁来照顾他们呢？’”艾米丽·池说。“我们看到他们的名字，看到他们的面孔，你会感觉这可能发生在自己身上。”她谈到遇难的亚裔美国人时说。“受害的可能是你的祖母。”
Small-business owners may have already suffered vandalism and other crimes firsthand. “Honor the first generation’s experience with violence — if you ignore it, the conversation will end,” said June Lee, executive director of the Korean Community Center of the East Bay.
小商户经营者们可能已经亲身经历了蓄意破坏等罪行。“尊重第一代人的暴力经历——如果你对此无视，讨论就会结束，”东湾韩国社区中心总干事朱恩·李(June Lee)说。
But at the same time, give them context for understanding hate crimes, especially if they’ve come from racially homogeneous countries, she said. Explain the systemic issues behind what might seem like a random killing. “They also need to know their rights,” she said. “Asians are known for their silences, but silence isn’t a virtue in this situation. We have to speak up.”
她说，但与此同时，要让他们了解仇恨犯罪的背景，特别是如果他们来自种族单一的国家，她说。要解释看似随机杀人背后的系统性问题。“他们也需要知道自己的权利，”她说。“亚裔以沉默著称，但在这种情况下，沉默不是一种美德。我们必须大声疾呼。”
Such conversations are a fraught yet tender rite of passage that reverses the traditional parent-child dynamic; parents who want to remain independent may brush off their children’s concerns for their safety.
这样的对话是一种令人忧虑但又温柔的成人仪式，它颠覆了传统的亲子互动；想要保持独立的父母可能会无视子女对他们安全的担忧。
If the elders are hierarchical in their thinking, and prefer advice from someone they consider their equal or in a position of higher standing, adult children could consider enlisting their doctor, pastor, or someone else in the community they trust, said Lia Huynh, a San Jose therapist who specializes in Asian-American issues.
圣何塞专门研究亚裔美国人问题的治疗师莉娅·黄(Lia Huynh)说，如果长辈有等级观念，更喜欢从他们认为与自己平等或地位较高的人那里得到建议，成年子女可以考虑请他们的医生、牧师或社区中他们信任的人帮忙。
“Asian-Americans have always been told, ‘Don’t make waves; don’t speak up,’” she explained. “Now things are coming to the surface, the feelings we had to stuff down for many years. People can feel alone, wondering, ‘Am I the only one dealing with this?’”
“亚裔美国人总是被告知，‘不要惹是生非；有想法就放在心里，’”她说。“现在我们被迫忍气吞声好多年的感受终于浮出水面。人们会感到孤独，想知道，‘只有我一个人在应付这样的问题吗？’”
But they are not alone. About 42 percent of Asian-Americans say that Asian people in this country face “a lot” of discrimination, according to a recent Pew survey conducted before the killings in Atlanta.
但他们并不是唯一的。皮尤研究中心(Pew)在亚特兰大枪击案发生前不久进行的一项调查显示，约42%的亚裔美国人表示，在这个国家的亚裔人面临“很多”歧视。
The organization Stop AAPI Hate — which began tracking violence and harassment against Asian-Americans and Pacific Islanders in the United States in 2020 — received reports of 3,292 cases that year; in 2021, until the Atlanta shootings, 503 cases had been reported.
“制止仇恨亚太裔美国人”(Stop AAPI Hate)组织从2020年开始追踪针对亚裔美国人和太平洋岛国居民的暴力和骚扰事件，同年即收到3292起报告；2021年，在亚特兰大枪击事件之
In November, while out walking her dog early one morning in Oakland, Calif., Deanne Chen, a 31-year-old Taiwanese-American, was mugged at gunpoint. Her assailant, who was Black, bear-hugged her from behind, shoved her to the ground, and flashed his gun at her. After she handed over her phone, he and his accomplice drove off. In the weeks that followed, the Oakland Police Department noted an uptick in violent robberies, with suspects targeting Asian and Latino communities.
去年11月清晨，31岁的台湾裔美国人迪安·陈(Deanne Chen)在加利福尼亚州奥克兰市遛狗时，遭到持枪抢劫。袭击她的是一名黑人，他从背后抱住她，将她推倒在地，对她亮出了枪。在她交出手机后，他和同伙开车离开。在接下来的几周里，奥克兰警察局注意到暴力抢劫案有所增加，嫌疑人的目标是亚裔和拉丁裔社区。
When she told her parents what happened, she emphasized that she did not want Black people to be racially profiled. “I had to explain that one bad individual doesn’t represent an entire community. I asked them, ‘Holistically, what do you think creates crime?’” Ms. Chen said.
当她告诉父母所发生的事情时，她强调自己不希望黑人遭到种族歧视。“我不得不解释，一个坏人不能代表整个社会。我问他们，‘从整体上看，你们认为是什么造成了犯罪?’” 迪安·陈说。
With the latest — and continuing — attacks against Asian-Americans, she added, “I don’t want this to be an opportunity for Blacks and Asians to get pitted against each other.”
她还说，对于最近乃至一直以来对亚裔美国人的攻击，“我不希望这成为黑人和亚裔相互对立的时机。”
She’s shared practical safety tips with her parents, telling them to remain vigilant when getting in and out of their car or unloading groceries. They’ll mention how their friends say they should watch out for each other and how their friends say they’re scared to go shopping. Her parents “don’t talk about their feelings, but will talk about everyone else’s. Which is a very Asian thing,” Ms. Chen said. “I know the fear is there.”
她与父母分享了实用的安全提示，告诉他们在上下车或从车上拿超市买的东西时要保持警惕。他们会提到他们的朋友说应该如何互相照顾，他们的朋友说害怕去购物。她的父母“不会谈论自己的感受，但会谈论其他人的感受。这是一种非常亚裔的事情，”迪安·陈说。“我知道恐惧是存在的。”
And yet, her mother also surprised her, calling the police in Atlanta “incompetent” and stating that their “racial bias” made everything worse for the victims. “I didn’t realize my mom was so woke!” Ms. Chen said with a laugh.
然而，她的母亲也让她大吃一惊，她称亚特兰大的警察“无能”，并说他们的“种族偏见”让受害者变得更糟糕。“没想到我妈妈这么有觉醒意识！”迪安·陈笑着说。
However, her parents would never admit that she might have influenced their opinion. “The trick is making them think it was their idea,” she said. “If you have the conversation in small, different ways, over time they start to read the news through the lens you provide them, and they come to their own conclusion.”
然而，父母绝不会承认她可能影响了他们的看法。“诀窍是让他们以为这是他们自己的主意，”她说。“如果你用小小的、不同的方式进行对话，随着时间推移，他们会开始通过你提供的镜头来阅读新闻，并且得出自己的结论。”
Ask a lot of questions, suggests Ener Chiu, of the East Bay Asian Local Development Corporation. “Ask them how they feel, and what we can do to help them feel safe.”
东湾亚洲本地发展社(East Bay Asian Local Development Corporation)的埃纳·赵(Ener Chiu)建议，要多提问题。“问问他们感觉如何，我们能做些什么来帮他们感到安全。”
As more seniors get vaccinated, he encourages them to gather in groups again, whether in parks, recreation centers, or elsewhere, and in time, become “actively engaged” in their community. “People won’t feel so isolated, carrying their pepper spray, ‘you against the world,’” Mr. Chiu said.
随着越来越多的老年人接种疫苗，他鼓励他们再次聚在一起，无论是在公园、娱乐中心或其他地方，并及时“积极参与”他们的社区。“带上胡椒喷雾，‘你们对抗世界’，人们就不会觉得那么孤立，”埃纳·赵说。
Recent events have galvanized some older Asian-Americans such as Ms. Lee’s parents, the ones who insisted on going grocery shopping.
最近的一些事件刺激了一些年长的亚裔美国人，比如坚持去杂货店购物的艾伦·李的父母。
Usually, her father texts her photos of wild turkeys and deer wandering the streets of their retirement community in the suburbs east of San Francisco. The other day, though, he sent a picture from a neighborhood protest, with her mother holding up a cardboard sign, “Stop Asian Hate.”
通常，她的父亲会给她发一些野火鸡和鹿在他们位于旧金山东部郊区退休社区街道上游荡的照片。但是有一天，他发了一张社区抗议的照片，照片上，她的母亲举着一个纸牌子，上面写着“停止对亚裔的仇恨”。
“Up until now, my parents have not felt heard except in ethnic media,” Ms. Lee said. “They complain, but they wonder who is listening. Now there’s a groundswell of energy, not only from other Asian-Americans, but allies, too.”
“到目前为止，除了在少数族裔媒体上，我的父母不觉得自己的声音被听到了，”艾伦·李说。“他们抱怨，但他们不知道谁在听。现在，有了一股力量，不仅来自其他亚裔美国人，而且还有盟友。”
