Meghan Says Life With the U.K. Royals Almost Drove Her to Suicide

A year after Meghan Markle married Prince Harry in a fairy-tale wedding, she said in an interview broadcast on Sunday night, her life as a member of the British royal family had become so emotionally unbearable that she contemplated suicide.

在童话般的婚礼上与哈里王子(Prince Harry)结婚一年后,梅根·马克尔(Meghan Markle)在周日晚上播出的一个采访中说,她作为英国王室成员的生活变得令人难以忍受,以至于她曾想过自杀。

At another point, members of the family told Meghan, a biracial former American actress, and Harry that they did not want the couple’s unborn child to be a prince or princess and expressed concerns about how dark the color of the baby’s skin would be.


The disclosures, made in an eagerly anticipated interview on CBS with Oprah Winfrey, were the most incendiary by Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex, 39, who married into the House of Windsor and discovered less of a fairy tale than what she described as the cruel loss of her freedom and identity.

这些是在备受期待的CBS奥普拉·温弗瑞(Oprah Winfrey)采访中公开的,是苏塞克斯公爵夫人梅根的一次猛料披露。现年39岁的梅根在嫁入温莎王朝后发现这并不是一个童话故事,而是悲惨地失去了自由和自我认同。

“I was ashamed to have to admit it to Harry,” Meghan said of her suicidal thoughts. “I knew that if I didn’t say it, I would do it. I just didn’t want to be alive anymore.”


She said that while her husband was deeply concerned about her condition — gripping her hand tightly at public events — her efforts to seek medical help were rebuffed by palace officials, who worried about the impact on the institution. She described herself as sort of a prisoner in Kensington Palace.

她说,尽管丈夫非常担心自己的状况——在公共场合紧紧握住她的手——但她寻求医疗帮助的努力被宫中官员回绝,他们担心这会对王室造成影响。她形容自己是肯辛顿宫(Kensington Palace)的一名囚犯。

“I couldn’t just call an Uber to the palace,” she said.


Meghan did not say which family member had raised questions about her baby’s skin color, nor did she fully explain why the royal family did not automatically plan to confer a royal title, which would have provided security for the child.


Other disclosures were less revelatory. Her sister-in-law, Kate, she said, drove her to tears in a clash over dresses for the flower girls, rather than the reverse as had been widely reported. One of Meghan’s aides told she shouldn’t go out to lunch with friends because she was overexposed, even though she had been left her residence only twice in four months.


And Harry and Meghan disclosed the happier news that their second child, due this summer, will be a girl.


Meghan, her baby bump clearly visible, spoke casually and with humor about her early encounters with her future in-laws. She described learning how to curtsy moments before she was introduced to Queen Elizabeth II and insisted she knew nothing about what was going to be expected of her as a working royal.


“I didn’t do any research about what that would mean,” she said. “I never looked up my husband online.”


For an American audience that has lapped up the palace intrigue depicted in the popular Netflix series “The Crown,” it was the equivalent of a juicy bonus episode. For the royal family, already preoccupied by the hospitalization of its patriarch, Prince Philip, it was a painful reminder, a year after Harry and Meghan turned their backs on royal life, that the wounds from that rupture have yet to heal.

对于那些沉浸于网飞系列剧《王冠》(The Crown)中描绘的宫廷阴谋的美国观众来说,这相当于十分有料的番外篇。而对于注意力被族长菲利普亲王因病入院占据的王室,这痛苦地提醒着他们,在哈里和梅根放弃王室生活一年后,破裂的关系尚未愈合。

On both sides of the Atlantic, it was the most eagerly anticipated royal interview since Harry’s mother, Princess Diana, told the BBC in 1995 that “there were three of us in this marriage,” referring to her husband, Prince Charles, and his extramarital relationship with Camilla Parker Bowles, whom he later married.

自从哈里的母亲戴安娜王妃于1995年告诉BBC“我们的婚姻中有三个人”以来,这是在大西洋两岸最令人期待的王室访谈。戴安娜王妃当时说的是她丈夫查尔斯王子与卡米拉·帕克·鲍尔斯(Camilla Parker Bowles)的婚外情。两人后来结婚了。

Like Meghan, Diana was a glamorous outsider who brought a shower of stardust to the House of Windsor when she married Charles, only to become deeply unhappy within the confines of royal life. Unlike Meghan, her marriage crumbled amid competing claims of infidelity, and by the time she spoke to the BBC journalist, Martin Bashir, she said the palace viewed her as a “threat of some kind.”

像梅根一样,戴安娜是一位迷人的王室外人,她与查尔斯的婚姻为温莎王室带来了童话般的色彩,但她也因王室生活所带来的限制而感到深深的痛苦。与梅根不同,她的婚姻在双方的婚外恋指责中破碎,当她与BBC记者马丁·巴希尔(Martin Bashir)谈话时,她说王室视她为“某种威胁”。

A vivid bookend to her turbulent years in the royal family, Diana’s interview was a pop-cultural moment that drew one of the largest British television audiences in history, lived on in parodies on “Saturday Night Live,” and deepened the media’s fathomless hunger for all things Diana. Two years later, she was dead in Paris, the victim of a car crash after a high-speed chase with photographers.

戴安娜的那次采访犹如她动荡的宫廷生活的压台戏,是一个流行文化的重要时刻,也是英国历史上吸引了最多观众的节目之一,在《周六夜现场》(Saturday Night Live)的滑稽模仿剧中重现,并加深了媒体对所有关于戴安娜的事情的无穷渴望。两年后,她因躲避摄影师的追赶而发生车祸,死于巴黎。

Harry invoked that tragedy with Ms. Winfrey, saying of his wife’s recurring clashes with the tabloid press, “My biggest concern was history repeating itself.” He has long blamed journalists for his mother’s death and said one of the reasons the couple moved to California was to escape the unrelenting media glare.


And yet, there the couple sat, in comfortable wicker outdoor chairs, across a low round table, from perhaps the nation’s most recognizable television host. Ms. Winfrey’s list of celebrity interviews includes Michael Jackson, Barack Obama, Kim Kardashian and Donald J. Trump — and she is known for considering little to be off limits (in 1993, she asked a nonplused Mr. Jackson if he was a virgin).

然而现在,那对夫妇坐在舒适的柳条户外椅上,隔着一张矮小的圆桌,接受美国最知名电视节目主持人的采访。奥普拉专访过的名人包括迈克尔·杰克逊(Michael Jackson),贝拉克·奥巴马(Barack Obama),金·卡戴珊(Kim Kardashian)和唐纳德·J·特朗普(Donald J. Trump)——她以毫无顾忌而闻名(1993年,她问杰克逊是否是处男,令他不知如何是好)。

Meghan, however, cast the interview as a chance to reclaim her own narrative, after a period when she claims her reputation was distorted by a ravenous tabloid press fed a diet of falsehoods by jealous palace courtiers.


Even Meghan’s choice of wardrobe seemed calculated to telegraph the message of a new start. Her elegant black dress, designed by Giorgio Armani, featured a striking lotus flower design that her staff said symbolized revival and a will to live. She also wore a diamond tennis bracelet that once belonged to Diana.

甚至连梅根的着装似乎也做过精心选择,以传达出新开始的信号。她的优雅黑色连衣裙由乔治·阿玛尼(Giorgio Armani)设计,上面有醒目的荷花图案,她的工作人员称这象征着复活和生存意志。她还戴了曾经属于戴安娜的钻石网球手链。

But the couple’s effort to relaunch their public image did not go unchallenged back home. In the days leading up to the broadcast, new allegations surfaced that Meghan had bullied members of her staff, reducing junior aides to tears and driving two personal assistants out of the palace. Meghan dismissed the claims as character assassination, while Buckingham Palace said it would look into them.


“What is going on is a significant struggle for the control of the narrative,” said Peter Hunt, a former BBC royal correspondent. “What is our settled judgment for why Harry and Meghan left the royal family? Do we accept two hours of Oprah or do we believe those charges of bullying?”

“一场为控制叙述而进行的大战正在上演,”前BBC王室记者彼得·亨特(Peter Hunt)说。“对于哈里和梅根为何离开王室,我们的定论是什么?我们该相信两个小时的奥普拉节目还是相信那些霸凌行为?”

Meghan has no shortage of defenders. Patrick J. Adams, an actor who worked with her on the television series, “Suits,” described her on Twitter last week as having “a deep sense of morality and a fierce work ethic.” The royal family, Mr. Adams said, was “obscene” to promote accusations of bullying against her.

梅根有不少捍卫者。与她共同出演过电视连续剧《金装律师》(Suits)的演员帕特里克·J·亚当斯(Patrick J. Adams)上周在推特上称,她具有“深刻的道德意识和强烈的职业道德”。亚当斯说,王室对她的霸凌指控“骇人听闻”。

Critics have long detected a whiff of racism in how some people react to Meghan, a biracial professional woman who had been divorced before she met Harry. While initially rapturous in their coverage of the couple, Britain’s tabloids turned against them, publishing unflattering articles about how they flew on carbon-spewing private jets and restricted access to their newborn son, Archie.


Some also point out the hypocrisy of Buckingham Palace investigating claims of bullying against Meghan when Prince Andrew, the queen’s second son and Harry’s uncle, has declined to speak to American authorities about allegations of sex trafficking by his late friend, the convicted sexual predator Jeffrey Epstein.

有人还指出,当安德鲁王子——女王的次子、哈里的叔叔——拒绝就其已故朋友、被定罪的性侵者杰弗里·爱泼斯坦(Jeffrey Epstein)的性贩运指控接受美国当局问讯时,白金汉宫调查梅根的霸凌行为显得很虚伪。

Though British papers have covered every conceivable angle of the interview, some made clear there were limits to the interest it was generating. The Sunday Times of London reported that the queen herself had no plans to watch the program, which is quite predictable, since it will air after midnight London time. It will be shown on Monday evening on Britain’s ITV network.


Others in Britain tried to play down its significance, pointing out that there are other more important things going on in the country: Schools are to reopen on Monday, and the coronavirus vaccine rollout continues at full speed. At least one prominent British leader said he had no plans to stay up for it.


“Of course, I’m interested in all sorts of stuff around the news around the world,” Prime Minister Boris Johnson said on Sunday, when asked about Harry and Meghan. “I think it’s quite late our time, so I’ll probably miss it.”

“当然,我对世界各地的各种新闻都感兴趣,”周日,首相鲍里斯·约翰逊(Boris Johnson)被问及哈里和梅根时说。“但我觉得播放时间太晚了,所以我可能就不看了。”

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